Spice
by Galaxy-Defending-Hopeful
Summary: Tom wants more spice, Danny is always eager to please, Dougie is a willing advisor and Harry really wishes he was elsewhere. Flones, swearing, mild sexual content, dedicated to kbeto for inspiring me to write. Short oneshot. Essentially crackfic.


**This came from me sitting down and thinking 'I really need up upload something other than my longfic!'. I...well, I hope you enjoy. This is essentially crack fic, but with a kinky twist. Kink talk, sex talk, Flones, swearing. Dedicated to kbeto for inspiring me to write, being a fantastic friend and being just a ****_little _****bit pervy. Love you! **

* * *

Tom scrolled hesitantly down the bright, flashing website, slightly alarmed by some of the pictures that were shining back at him. Since when was porn so...porny? He had gone onto the website for inspiration, maybe some suggestions, not penises and vaginas glaring at him from every direction, making him feel distinctly uncomfortable and slightly aroused.

"What are you doing? You look like you've just seen two dudes backending a chick at the same time!"

Tom jumped and looked up to see Dougie, the youngest member of his new band at just about sixteen years old now. His birthday had been the previous week, in fact: a small affair with plenty of beer, large amounts of condom-balloons and a few rather sexual games.

"I...I think I have." Tom stuttered back, biting his lip as he minimised the window on the laptop. Dougie's eyes grew wide.

"What the _fuck _kind of porn do you watch?" the younger man exclaimed, curiously glancing at the ancient laptop.

"It's not for me, it's for...Doug, can I ask your advice?"

Dougie swung around the door frame of the living room to the band house and then shut the door, before plopping himself neatly beside Tom.

"Doug, I know you've probably been with more guys and girls than I ever will be, and...well...how do you spice it up when it gets a bit _samey _in bed?"

Dougie snickered, resting a reassuring hand on Tom's shoulder. "Is this about you and Danny? I just walked in on him knocking one off, that's why I came down here!"

"Yeah, it is...do you have any advice?" Tom's cheeks were scarlet as he carefully asked his friend, bracing himself for some kind of filthy response.

"Hmm...well, one time, just after I moved into the band house, I had a girlfriend called Sarah, right? You remember her? Brazilian, curvy, _amazing _arse, about seventeen? One night she made me try on her underwear. They were red and black, and made of silk, and you know what? I liked it." Dougie licked his lips as he told his story, seemingly delighted with the memory.

"Um, what relevance does that have to my English, skinny as a rake, still amazing arsed, almost eighteen year old boyfriend?" Tom asked, unable to shake a mental image of Dougie in panties.

"Kinks. Fetishes. Explore what you like." Dougie wisely told him, suddenly seizing Tom's hands in his and grinning, "You have to feel to believe..."

Tom laughed and shook off the younger boy. "Shut up, Doug. I'm going to go and talk to Dan – thanks for the advice...I think."

Dougie chuckled. "No problem. I bet you're secretly into all kinds of really weird stuff anyway – guitar porn, or something like that. I've seen the way you lust after my-"

The door slammed.

* * *

"Come in!" Danny yelled from inside his room. Tom gently opened the door, entering the room quietly before closing it securely again. Danny was stretched out on his bed, blue jeans wrapping his slender thighs most invitingly. With a little bounce, Tom settled by his boyfriend's feet and began to absently play with them.

"What's up, Tom?" Danny asked, appreciating the warm touch of the blonde.

"I'll be honest – our sex life isn't as good as it used to be. So I've come up with an idea." Tom frankly began, smiling at the surprised expression on Danny's face.

"Okay...what's ya idea?" Danny's voice was a steady mix of curiosity and caution, much as Tom's had been before allowing Dougie to impart his wisdom upon him.

"We talk about the..._unusual_...stuff that we like. I'll start if you want. I really, really, _really _have a thing for roleplaying in the bedroom." Tom's voice caught in his throat, but the words still escaped, making Danny laugh.

"Really? Well, I've got a thin' for sex toys. All that vibratin' stuff? I love it." Danny's Bolton accent cut warmly through the otherwise awkward words, making them sound natural and smooth.

"I...um...I have a bit of a thing for biting." Tom's face was a uniform shade of crimson now, standing out sharply against his tufty duckling blonde hair.

"I like spankin'." Danny reached out and grabbed Tom's hand. "An' I love ya."

"I love you too. We should try some of these out soon." Tom suggested, squeezing Danny's hand with a suggestive smile.

"You can always be my naughty pupil..." Danny winked as he spoke, making Tom's face turn, bizarrely, even redder.

"I'd love to be in _your _detention class." Tom replied, easing a hand up Danny's thigh and turning to face him properly. Danny grabbed the neck of his T-shirt and pulled him forwards, suddenly kissing him passionately. It seemed that the uncomfortable little chat had inspired something in both of them: they lay, Tom on top of Danny, kissing feverishly and steadfastly ignoring the sounds of the TV downstairs. The last words to slip from Danny's lips into the palpable electricity of the room before they stripped were,

"You're such a bad boy, Tom."

* * *

"What the _fuck_?" Harry exclaimed after a particularly loud bang on the floor broke over the noise of the cricket on telly. Dougie laughed. "What?" Harry looked with confusion at the short man.

"It's Tom and Danny." Dougie explained with a snigger.

"Doing...what?" Harry asked, eyes widening as a moan audibly penetrated the room.

"Oh – fucking, probably. Tom asked me for advice on how to spice up his sex life, and I gave him some." Dougie spoke nonchalantly, as if there was nothing unusual about this fact. Harry spluttered, and half of his mouthful of lemonade flew out and sprayed over the beige carpet.

"You did _what_?" For once in Harry's life, he was utterly shocked.

"I told them how to fuck, basically." Dougie picked up a crisp from some long forgotten packet on the table and ate it, not even aware of the shock that Harry was feeling.

"Fuck...Danny..." Tom's voice was loud and clear in the room: alas, Danny's room was directly above the living room. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" It became louder and louder and finally broke, making Harry feel extremely discomforted, and Dougie feel nothing at all.

When Tom and Danny emerged into the living room twenty minutes later, both slightly crumpled, Harry couldn't look them in the eye. Dougie, however, congratulated them.

"Great stamina, you guys!"

Tom could have died.


End file.
